


Eclipse

by Foreveradventures



Category: Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Multi, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-13
Updated: 2015-12-13
Packaged: 2018-05-06 09:56:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5412476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Foreveradventures/pseuds/Foreveradventures
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They were my boys.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Eclipse

**Author's Note:**

> This may be gay Ryden trash, but I won a short story contest with this. I still am laughing about that.

They were my boys.

I'd met them when I was 17. My homophobic mother had just kicked me out after catching me kiss my girlfriend (who unamazingly dumped me after the incident, realizing she wasn't in fact into girls). I was living on the couches of my friends who had graduated highschool and had space to lend without a questioning parent. I dropped out of school to pursue music and was working in record store that somewhat resembled a basement, trying to survive with the money I earned.

I didn't notice them much at first, but the holding hands and the kisses were obvious enough after a while. They'd come in every Wednesday with watermelon smiles and would buy each other CDs and records. ‘Ryan and Brendon’ they said as they made small talk with me in the empty store. At first I was jealous, how unconcerned they we with other peoples’ opinions on their relationship, but we quickly became friends, and we'd talk about music and bands and life in general. They came to the store more and more, and I started to hang out with them after work, watching bands play and going shopping. After they learned I was homeless, they offered to let me live with them.

They gave me the spare room in their apartment, and life was morning smiles and bowls of cereal and flowers and all the things I never realized I was missing. They were 19 and played in a band and I'd go to every gig with them, watching as they played with passion and love for what they were doing. And in between the music and the inside jokes and midnight conversations I was with the people I cared about the most. And when they spoke to each other their eyes lit up and they were so in love. They were so in love with each other.

Somehow, after living with my boys for a while, the chemistry worked. Their hands started to hold mine, and we'd all fall asleep on the couch together and wake up tangled in each other's arms. We’d cook each other food and we’d sing together, and somehow, the record player in the living room and Brendon’s sweaters and Ryan’s laughter was mine. And god, their kisses and their love was mine too. I felt butterflies and I understood why their eyes lit up and somehow my religious mother and my ex girlfriend seemed so far away. I had everything I ever wanted, all the music and the love and the passion. Maybe I didn’t have much, and maybe it was temporary, but I was happy. With my boys I was happy.

Our love was like a dream, magnificent and perfect, but fading too quickly, and too easily forgotten.

There was never fighting, but the cracks were there and we broke like a shattered teacup on the tile floor. The music that brought people together somehow tore us apart in the end. It was the only thing they ever loved more than each other. And the falling out tore my boys apart. Brendon was the sun and Ryan was the moon and I was the earth and our love was just an eclipse; and when the moment had passed we were just falling away again. They never blamed me but Ryan went to live with his bandmate Jon and Brendon went to live with his friend Spencer and I was left with a little apartment and too many bittersweet memories.

They say that love never lasts, and maybe it doesn't, but I still remember the way Brendon used to draw circles on my shoulder and the smell of his hair, and the color of Ryan’s eyes and how he’d get lost writing songs until dawn. Isn’t it always the little things get missed?

They were my boys.

The last time I saw them was when I was 21. We all packed our things and said goodbye to the little apartment we had once called home. I kissed them for the last time, and we all went on our way, new dreams to fulfil, and new loves to find. I left the city to pursue my own music with my friends Kat and Carrie, and I never looked back.

They were my boys. Yeah, my boys. Even now, after all this time, they still are.


End file.
